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| EMMA'S FILM REVIEWS
The following film reviews are based on Emma's notes which she uses for the Danny Baker show, etc.
xXx2 - If ever there was a film that had straight to video written all over it, this was it. Someone, somewhere thought that replacing Vin Diesel with rap bad boy Ice Cube was going to be a good idea. Mean Creek - Like all good youngster based films, Mean Creek begins with a bully and a plan for revenge – let’s pretend it’s the victim’s birthday and persuade the bully to come along. Tarnation - Extraordinary documentary from Jonathan Caouette who has been chronicling his life on film since he was 11. Made for $218.32, this is the story of a young homosexual growing up in Texas with a dysfunctional family and a mother who, after years of unnecessary electric shock treatment, is floundering with mental illness. Beauty Shop - Blimey I wish they would find a decent vehicle for Queen Latifah. Sadly, this isn’t it. Following on from the successes of Barbershop 1 and 2, this is the spin off for the ladies. Hitchikers Guide To the galaxy - I wanted to love this but when someone somewhere takes the greatest comedy science fiction novel ever written and turns it into a romantic comedy it’s not just unforgivable, it’s heart breaking. New Town Original - This film has been written, produced and directed by a DJ, an electrician and a pub quiz host, all childhood friends who have got together and turned themselves into a production company. Amityville Horror - When a priest runs out of your house screaming and tells you that the place you live in “frightens” him perhaps it’s time to think about moving. It’s the remake of the seventies classic based on the real story of George and Cathy Lutz who moved into the cursed house in Amityville only to flee it 28 days later leaving every single thing they owned behind them. The Interpreter - During a Security lock down at the UN, African interpreter Nicole Kidman overhears something she shouldn’t. Meanwhile, over in a bar on the other side of Troubled Street, Sean Penn, the secret service man, is drinking his wedding ring and listening to bad country music. Sahara - Frankenmonster films are never pretty and with Sahara we’ve got an Indiana Jones style action adventure movie genetically spliced with an Outbreak style plague thriller. The Assasination of Richard Nixon - This film was written five years ago before 9/11 and before the presidency of George W Bush so the fact it’s about a man whose despair with a Republican president who has waged a divisive, unpopular war and been accused of tampering with a national election is nothing short of incredible. Man In The House - A comedy and Tommy Lee Jones? To quote Sesame Street, one of these things is not like the other one. A pesky drug baron has gone and got himself killed and, as luck would have it, the murder has been witnessed by five big breasted, flat midriffed cheerleaders. The Rage in Placid Lake - Sound the alert it’s a kooky, geeky boy film! Placid Lake, not to be confused with Lake Placid which is a body of water with a monster in it, is a skinny lad whose parents are so free thinking that nothing he can do will ever make them angry. Downfall - Fans of Channel 5 will love this because it’s all about the last days of Hitler and the Third Reich. Not again! You may cry. Ah ha! I will reply. For this is a German film and is the first film about Hitler they’ve ever made. Be Cool - When a movie sequel starts with the main character dissing movie sequels then you either have a work of satirical genius on your hands or a film so poor that you end up with a face so covered in egg that people are going to stop you in the street and ask you if you’re Humpty Dumpty. 5x2 - 5x2 or Cinq Fois Deux if you’ve got a goatee, is an exquisite film about the break up of a relationship. The story is told backwards in five segments starting with the divorce and going back through significant moments in their relationship to the moment that they met. Darkness - Oh dear. When a film takes three years to get from wrap to screen you kind of know that something, somewhere needed fixing. What’s that? There’s going to be an eclipse in three days? Robots - From the team that brought you Ice Age comes a film that’s even better. Rodney Copperbottom is an aspiring inventor who travels to the Big City to meet his hero Bigweld, the affable entrepreneur whose message is – you can shine no matter what you’re made of. The Machinist - Step aside Robert de Niro. There’s a new method actor in town. Christian Bale starved himself to become the skeletal Trevor Reznik and whilst this film should come with the warning Do Not Try This At Home, there is no doubt that by going down that path, Bale has produced the performance of his career. Constantine - So when it comes to saviours of mankind, apparently the actor of choice is now Keanu Reeves. Go figure. It’s another comic book hero turned film action brouhaha. Duck Season - Here’s a first time feature from a young Mexican director. Flama is a fourteen year old boy. It’s a Sunday. He’s been left on his own in the family home. |
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