My little chickens! I am returned. Did you miss me? Did you? There wasn't a moment when you weren't at least 25 feet from my thoughts! How delightful to be nestled in your bosom once more. Let's go little buddies!

So I've had a veeeer, veeeeeer nice holiday. I am tanned and I have eight (count 'em) mosquito bites which are hounding me in a rolling itch relay whereby one stops and then the next one along starts and so on until I've scratched from my ankle, up my leg, over to the other leg, up the arms, onto the shoulder, across the back and down again. Damn that lady Mozzie! She ate me up good.

So it turns out Ibiza is a very beautiful island. i didn't go anywhere near San Antonio so neatly avoided any sort of brush with the Kebab and Alcopops generation. In fact the only encounter I had with the Ibiza Parteeee brigade was on the flight out when a lady midget (this story is already teetering on craziness) held us all up by refusing to sit down in her seat on landing. She was standing on her seat and chatting to the woman behind her. Despite repeated announcements from the cabin crew telling ehr to sit down, she wouldn't and so after landing, the pilot refused to taxi to the airport until she sat down. It was like being on a school bus. "We're not going anywhere," barked the pilot. "Until everyone is sitting down."

Because she STILL wouldn't sit down the other passengers got a little riled and one lone Australian voice sounded out "Siddddoooooowwwwwwwwn yer stooopid bitch!"

At which a veeeer Essex response came back "That is WELL harsh"

I was staying in a remote house above the island's salt flats and very lovely and relaxing it was too. If you'd like to have a look at my holiday snaps and you're not on facebook then you can by following this link

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=62154&l=5942c&id=739055728

Go on. Fill your boots.

Tue 15th Jul >>